For the last month, my family and I have been traveling around the western side of the United States. There are plenty of inspirations I could talk about from the raging wildfires in Helena to the majestic waterfalls in Glacier National Park; from the glorious sunsets across the endless plains of the Dakotas to the colorful hills of the Badlands and impressive, man-made sculptures of Mount Rushmore. However today, I wanted to focus on my own backyard.

I’ve dabbled here and there in gardening, but this is the first year I would actually call myself a gardener. There are so many things I am still learning – not just about how to have a better green thumb – but about God and how we relate to Him and others.

Last April I planted seeds indoors and watched them germinate and grow inside our small, crowded greenhouse. At first, it looked like I would have an amazing harvest. But after a couple of weeks, they stopped growing. During that time my husband built me two raised garden beds and my family and I, including my mom and step-dad, filled them with hay, manure, topsoil, and compost. When the threat of frost was over, I transplanted my vegetables and flowers outdoors, hoping they would take off with more space and proper nutrients. Being new to gardening and not having a lot of common sense when it comes to plants, I got impatient for growth. Because they seemed stumped, I discarded them. But as I learned later, it turns out, plants need some time to adjust before they start thriving. Of course, I thought. Even people get stumped and need time to thrive after transition.

It occurred to me how often I do this same thing with people and with myself. How many times do I get frustrated when I don’t see immediate change or growth? How many times do I become impatient and hopeless after years of fervent prayers? If He hasn’t answered by now, He’s probably not going to, I think. Or, I’ll write people off thinking, They’ll always be this way. They’ll never change. I’m just going to quietly distance myself from them.

With myself, how many times do I quickly throw out attempts to be more disciplined, to exercise more, to eat well, or to be faithful in my devotion to God? Well, I’ve already messed up, so I might as well not even try.

But, maybe, there’s more to the story and it’s ok to give myself and others extra grace when we’ve been through a difficult transition.

What if we didn’t give up on people and ourselves so easily? What if the stump in growth doesn’t mean that we, or other people, are done growing, but that the invisible roots we carry just need some time to sit and absorb nutrients? What if we’re the ones stumping growth by crowding the space with pushy arguments, guilt, manipulation, and shame? It’s easy to want to revert to these things when change isn’t visible. But just because we can’t see what’s going on under the surface, doesn’t mean God isn’t at work. Sometimes the best work God is doing is allowing us to just be and to absorb His goodness. And if He’s not afraid to give us this space, maybe we can extend that same grace and love to others and to ourselves.